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Poetry Monday

Sometimes I jot down little notes when I'm making dinner. For example:

"You are a fucking potato head"

Those hard eyes of yours.
I want to pull them off and
put them where your mouth used to be.

I want to unpeel you and put your
dirty skin down the garbage disposal and
see your underneath, all your bruises.

I want to remove your ears and put them
where your eyes used to be and
then you might hear me.

I could slice off the dark spots with my
sharp little paring knife and
you would be good then.

I could do those things.

Then I could drop you in a big pot
and draw you a very hot bath and
wait until you got all soft in your center.

I’d mush you up, mix you up
with butter, sour cream, and
chives.

I'd scoop you up with my fingers,
my potato head, and
eat you.

This is the first line drawing of the tattoo Mary Joy Scott is designing for me. I don't know how I got so lucky to find and artist who loves drawing Victorian roses, but I adore what she's coming up with. Even if I’m not the girl at RWA as the girl with the most tattoos, I might win for the biggest.

Okay, I really have to write now. I have a goal of completing 7K by Monday night. That may not sound like a lot to many folks, but for me the act of writing is like running through water. It’s slow and hard and takes all my energy. This book has been especially challenging because it’s totally different for me. Magic, a little BDSM, urban fantasy setting…I’ve never done all of the above in one book before. But these characters just surprise me at every turn, and I really have no idea what the heck’s going to come out of their mouths. My heroine just told my hero that she came from the circus. Turns out she got turned on by watching the Lion trainer tame the beast. Who knew?

Also, I’m behind on my word count because we have had houseguests for over a week. Not just one group of folks but three different arrivals. I’ve been having a blast, but I am seriously behind on my word count now.

And I really need to stop watching The Pick of Destiny.

Instead of writing

I've been watching The Pick of Destiny. Yes, I’ve seen it three times this week. I think this video from the film if the funniest shit I've seen in a really long time. I do so love Jack Black. (Warning, if you are offended by the word "fuck" don't watch this video.)

Congrats!

I would like to officially congratulate Julia for winning the Eight Things About Me contest. Soon she will be receiving her SIGNED copy of Seasons of Seduction Volume I! Yay, Julia!

In other news, I just made an appointment for my third tattoo and I’m so excited! I’m scheduled to have the work done in a few weeks when I go to San Francisco with Scary Carrie. I’m hoping to go to RWA as the girl with the most tattoos!

Poetry Monday

oh pointy bird,
Pointy pointy,
anoint my head,
Anointy-nointy

-Steve Martin

Happy Friday

For when you should be writing:

I invented the Post-It

Gotta love Ducky

Professional Killer

Stretchy Pants

A school for Ants

John Again

Eight Random Things About Myself

I keep getting tagged, so here we go:

1) I invented the Post-It
2) Someone once said to me, “This is a really volcanic ensemble you’re wearing.”
3) I stood up my prom date, joined the army, went into business for myself and became a professional killer.
4) Sometimes I wear stretchy pants in my room.
5) A few years ago I won a break-dance fight.
6) I just love finding new places to wear diamonds.
7) I can’t believe my grandmother felt me up!
8) I gave a girl my heart and she gave me a pen.

So there you have eight facts about Feisty. Be sure to check my comments.

Second Sale

I'm so excited! I just found out Ellora's Cave wants my story, The Sting of Desire, for their Tarot series! Yay! Originally, I thought this story would be around 12K, but it's obvious these people need a full-length novel, so I have to write a ton between now and my deadline of June 30th. But that's okay because I love this story! It's totally different for me-it's an urban fantasy about a tarot card reader who gets tangled up with an undercover agent who wields a whip like nobody's business. What fun!

Alien Overnight

Torture is eagerly waiting the release of a book you are dying to read and then having your laptop die the day you download it. That’s what happened to me last Wednesday, the day Robin Rotham’s book, Alien Overnight, was released.

Well, many days later, I was finally able to retrieve my computer from the Genius Bar and then I immediately proceeded to sit down and devour this amazing book. It was all I expected and more. This book is witty, hot, funny and bursting with chemistry-everything an erotic romance should be. I could rave about it forever but I’ll refrain because I know there will be many reviewers doing just that. Simply put, this book rocks. It’s an example of erotic romance at its best. Buy it here.

And here's a blurb:

Commander Kellen is on Earth recruiting women for his planet's sex-starved males. Not particularly excited by human anatomy, he seeks nothing more for himself than the occasional slaking of his needs with some anonymous female — which shouldn't be a problem, since she'll have to face the other way to accommodate his special anatomical needs.

Dr. Monica Teague is thrilled with her ten-year assignment caring for Garathan's sexual recruits. Her quirky looks and childish excuse for a body guarantee she'll never be expected to put out — which is kind of a bummer, now that she's up to her armpits in horny alien beefcake.

But, when an overdose of alien pheromones makes Monica drunk off her ass, Kellen quickly claims the odd little doctor before another Garathani realizes what she is. The overdose sparks a violent chain reaction in her, and when Monica finally wakes, she's got the body of a porn star — and two sexy alien mates who are determined to tame her.

If only she were as determined not to let them…

Poetry Monday

The Satin Dress
by
Dorothy Parker

Needle, needle, dip and dart,
Thrusting up and down,
Where's the man could ease a heart
Like a satin gown?

See the stitches curve and crawl
Round the cunning seams-
Patterns thin and sweet and small
As a lady's dreams.

Wantons go in bright brocade;
Brides in organdie;
Gingham's for the plighted maid;
Satin's for the free!

Wool's to line a miser's chest;
Crepe's to calm the old;
Velvet hides an empty breast
Satin's for the bold!

Lawn is for a bishop's yoke;
Linen's for a nun;
Satin is for wiser folk-
Would the dress were done!

Satin glows in candlelight-
Satin's for the proud!
They will say who watch at night,
"What a fine shroud!"


So, tell me: what fabric are you?

Happy Friday

So, my laptop is sick. I've been without it for almost 48 hours and I feel like I'm missing a limb. I know that's pretty sad but there you go. Hopefully I'll get it back tonight. The guys at The Genius Bar assured me that I wouldn't lose any data which is a very good thing since I haven't backed up my hard drive since before RT. Yes, I know how stupid that is.

Anyway, some of you out there will appreciate this David Blaine spoof. Have a great weekend!

Doll Porn/Erotic Art

Today when I was cleaning out my office I found my collection of paper Mache dolls. Yes, I have a collection of paper Mache dolls. The dolls scare my husband, hence the forgotten box. So imagine my surprise when I emerged from the office and discovered him crouched on the rug, arranging the figures in various shocking positions and taking photographs of them. Only, these aren't the kind of photos you'll see in Doll Aficionado. No, these are x-rated shots and of course I am going to share them with you.

Warning: if you are easily offended by doll porn click here.









So the last one is actually kinda sweet, don't ya think?

Poetry Monday

The Mailbox

I finger through
A pile of
Junk.
One envelope
Forwarded, yellow sticker
My heart speeds up and
I slide my nail
Under the seal and
find a check.
Royalties.
My name there
Right there
I’m a writer.

Shakira Friday

Since I reference her in Dance of the Plain Jane, today I thought I'd post a little homage to Shakira. Enjoy.

Fog, Blowing and Star Wars

I’m finally starting to emerge from the fog I’ve been walking around in since I’ve been home from RT. I think I’m still recovering from Sunday. Not only did I stay up way too late the night before, but my flight didn’t leave until 9 PM which put me in Reno around 1 AM Houston time. It was a long day and I was so freakin' happy to be in my car and on my way home.

Then five miles from the airport I blew a tire (no I didn’t actually BLOW the tire, you sicko, but if I had I wouldn’t gag on account of the fact that I’ve watched the video below). The thing just exploded. I managed to get my car to the side of the freeway and call a tow-truck driver. (What? You didn’t think I’d actually change the tire myself did you? Bless your heart.) But he informed me it would be at least two hours before he could get to me. This meant I would be sitting around on the side the road until the wee hours of the morning. Have you seen Reno 911? It’s a scarily accurate portrayal of this town. Instead I drove my poor, wobbling vehicle to the nearest open establishment, which happened to be a casino.

I called Manroot and he woke up the kid and they came and retrieved me. This is a two hour round trip endeavor that both men made without one grumble despite the fact that it was the middle of the night. When they arrived my kid was wide awake and looked pretty surprised to be picking up mommy in a casino parking lot at 1AM. I know. He should be used to this by now.

So I was absolutely exhausted by that point. Like, can’t-even-mumble-a-word tired. Which of course meant my two year old wanted to have a nice long conversation to fill me in on all his new words and phrases. They included:

Darth Vader and the “haaa haaa” breathing sound
Chewbacca
Wookie
See-Threepio
Jabba is scary
Rebel Alliance
Lando
Royal House of Alderaan


I quickly realized that while I was away Manroot and child watched Star Wars episode IV and V continuously. Forget Blue’s Clues, this kid now wants his Robots. This is fine with me. Yes, I've admitted to having a crush on Steve, but come on. I could really use those How Not To Gag techniques on Han Solo.

Anyway I think I’m finally getting back part of my brain. I actually wrote today, only 700 words but it’s better than nothing, right? Tomorrow will be better.